A Box Of Chocolates With Many Wonders In It

2005-08-21T01:03:00.000+08:00

feeling so down.. so sad.. my heart is bleeding.. so pain.. my heart is crying... Ouch.. that's hurt man.. got to bear with it until i leave this place.. a place with full of sorrow.. and give me sad memories.. not sweet memories.. life there.. just full of stress.. and i adding in more stress to myself.. choosing the wrong option make my life with full of regrets.. aww... what can i do now? only can act as normal infront of everyone.. laugh and stay happy to pretend nothing happen.. over the past few months.. always hope my dream come true.. but never.. and come in negitive.... i regret what i have done.. i should just go for it.. but i did't... sigh..

exam coming soon.. lots of assignment got to submit... 2 major project... 3 major presentation.. 2 public speaking presentation.. 3 reports...1 lab test... what the... so much.. beside studying, project, presenation, report.. test... what else in my life.. answer is nothing.. once a glass is break.. it will never back to the same orginal glass.. althought it can be fixed back... but scar is there.. 3 weeks more... is my exam.. and i not prepared yet.. got no mood for it.. left with about 1 1/2 yrs more.. and i will be leaving this place.. and start afresh.. sigh..

A Boring Day

2005-07-11T12:50:00.000+08:00

Finally, come to the study week.. after this week will be common test... so for study week all of us don't have lesson for the whole week.. but as for me.. follow as normal.. follow up the timetable what time the lesson start and i went to the library for self study the whole day until 5pm..

Library should be a very quiet place.. but hor... our campus library.. sux man.. so noisy.. even people infront of me and beside me play DotA.. oh my god... make my hand itchy.. that's why i rather not to stay at home to study.. because i know i confirm don't study one.. i will only play game the whole day until mid-night.. hahaha..

From the whole morning until afternoon.. crap man.. i realise i'm too slow.. still reading through the tutorial question and try to understand it and search for answer.. i wonder... how am i going to finish study the whole 5 modules.. this coming common test will have 5 papers.. no break in between... not like last year.. when i was in year 1.. surely got a break in between the common test week.. now.. one whole solid week... PAPER.. sigh.. stress man.. trying hard to score well.. trying hard to study...

Wafer Fabraication Technology.. this module... sux the most.. cannot write in point form.. must write like compo.. my english sux.. yet still have to write ... even got spelling that is borophosilicate glass... how am i going to memories .. *WeeP*.. sigh~ sad case..

2005-06-17T11:29:00.000+08:00

hmm... sad leh.. birthday.. wish... =( i was hoping .... but... haiz.. never mind... at least got time i happy too.. I'm happy because eveline mei.. first one to greet me on 12am.. haaaaaahaaaaaa.. than in school.. hehe.. thanks wan-ting, suting, lifen, xin ai, stella.. for your cake and wishes.. heee.. got shock u girls know... and also my other friend.. carol for her present.. i look at her present... shake my head.. haha... but nice.. i like it...

hmm what else.. really nothing.. it's really sux.. a bad day too.. HP no batt until can't even switch on today during in school... sigh.. sad..... well... also ....... did't celebrate too.. lol.. nothing to celebrate.. after school just go home.. and sit infront of my laptop.. for about 9 hours playing game.. zzzzzzzzzzz

feeling heartbroken.. and sad.. plus happy today.. hee.. >_<

2005-06-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

long time did't blog ... wondering what's going with me now right? actually nothing really happen, is i just a bit lazy to blog.. busy with studies during weekdays, reach home got to revise what i have learn everyday.. and during weekend.. i will spend the whole sat playing game ... till mid-night.. and what about sunday.. be a good boy.. washing dosage of clothing.. >_<>

Ever since school reopen, I keep telling myself i got to study hard.. even harder than before.. forcing myself to study lots.. everyday do homework.. even work has not ask me to do... i even go try it.. althought some i did wrongly but at least there's some i still got the correct answer... hehe.. feel so happy about it.. but forcing myself too much.. end up....... SICK!

Oh GoSh.. last sat already start to sick.. first with normal fever, than the next following day running nose.. and today .. even getting from bad to worst.. got a bad cough :( out of sudden temperature rose to 38.6 degress... got a bad scolding from my mum.. because she ask tomorrow don't go school but i refuse.. and i insist want to go .. i know she consent about me.... but i still insist want to go ... i can't afford to miss any lecutre..

ok.. time to go.. back to do telecommunication principles tutorial.. see ya.......

2005-05-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

so tired.. only sleep less than 3 hours today.. and wake up 7am just to go NTUC buy things.. and go hospital bring back the fan home.. and go back again.. having a weird dream.. i think i too hungry and dream about food.... nearly eat up my hp.. LOL.. when i wake up.. i see myself holding my hp and put inside my mouth.. LMAO! first time in my life having this dream.. this must be a joke to me.. hahahaha...

well.. what a stuipd dream.. got up from it.. and prepare to go NTUC markting.. = after that.. rush down to hospital.. bring fan home.. stuipd hospital.. newly build.. but their fan is totally no WIND and useless! give me so much trouble to bring fan there for my mum use and bring back again.. and now.. back to hospital again.. and bring my mum back home.. finally she's discharge.. heeehe.. but the way i see her walk.. oh dear... why doctor let her discharge.. she not really recover.. walking extreme not stable.. so worried about her.. if she fall again.. i really can't think what's going to happen..

just only a few steps.. and my mum complaining pain.. sigh... no choice.. so i ask her.. sit down first.. later than walk.. after about 10 mins rest.. we went to the food court in changi hospital have our lunch.. and i keep asking her... want to go my sister house stay..? because i really worried about her.. the way i see her walk.. >_<>

now.. reach home.. nothing she can do at home now... all the housework i got to do.. she only can sit down and watch tv.. or go to bed and sleep.. sigh.. everyday just have to carry on do the housework.. wash clothing... wash plate & cup.. boil water.. mop floor etc etc.... tired man... school reopen soon... left only 1 week.. and now i'm actually planning to work .. to maintain this family now.. as my mum now jobless.. no income.. no nothing..

am i able to cope all this? study, work, maintain house all at the same time..? not sure too.. only know.. right infront of me.. is just a dead end.. pointless just to sit there and watch.. got to do something about it.. but well.. have to see how first.. plan step by step..

well... end my blog here.. wish myself good luck.. lol.....

2005-05-08T19:31:00.000+08:00

com down and up.. up and down.. this two days.. com keep down.. always error in reading hdd.. still got lots of error.. all this happen after my hdd crash.. that time crash.. nearly can't even boot.. error message say error in booting.. i got shock.. but after a few tried.. and trying to get back my com to normal.. it's ok already .. able to recover my window.. but most of my software gone.. no choice.. only way left is reformat.. now...... after reformat.. lost of program gone.. my dreamwaver, mircosoft office and lots more all gone.. have to go back to school and reinstall it.. :( all the effort done on my com.. but.. still not stable.. just like today.. this morning down again.. afternoon than back to normal.. crap man.. sigh........... i think need to bring it to repair.. sad....

Mother's Day today.... mum in hospital... asking her.. what she want to eat... and i buy for her eat.. actually i want bring her out to eat.. but she say ... ma fan.. because.. she can't walk.. bring her out .. need wheelchair.. need cab.. but i ok what.. but end up.. company her eat in hospital...

just few days more.... mum discharge.. yeah.... she have been staying in hosptial for 2 months already .. now finally she's coming back.. once she's back... i'm no longer alone.. i won't feel so lonely already ... but bad thing is.... i will lost my freedom too.. cannot go out liao once she back home... don't know should i be happy or should i be sad... hahahahaa...

2005-05-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

Everyday visit my mum in the hospital.. been left alone at home... so bored.. feel like going out.. but lonely.. asking friend out.. but did't... because don't know where i want go... now.. heard that my mum no more job already ... crap... she have been staying in hospital for nearly 2 months.. and having unpaid leave... now.. jobless.. this is damn crap.. don't know what's going to happen next..

Just now went to my house nearby NTUC to shop.. see what i want to buy to cook for my meal for the next few days... end up.. walking round and round.. walk for about 1 hour.. only take instant cereal.. well.. may be that's a good way of saving.. just to cook instant noodless.. instead of eat outside more or buy other food to cook at home...

now.. reach home.. bored.. nothing to do... just doing the same thing... watching tv.. play game.. till mid-night 3-4 am.. or even 5-6am.. that's my lifestyle now.. what's else...? i guess nothing more.. lol.. well.. sorry for did't update my blog often.. because really got nothing new.. heheehe

2005-04-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

kewl.. got my result yesterday morning.. so nervous until i couldn't sleep at all.. sleep at 0600+ than wake up at 0845.. lol.. keep playing game.. well.. finally it's over.. i manages to pass.. so happy.. i guess is pure luck... no idea either..

after checking my result.. rush out for going to orchard area to settle some stuff... travel from bedok to orchard, orchard to bedok, bedok to tampines, tampines to bedok and bedok to simei.. lol.. travel nearly the whole morning and afternoon.. at night still travel to simei to tampines until nearly 12am than i reach home.. sleeping in bus.. oh man.. talk about sleeping in bus.. i nearly couldn't wake up.. until the bus park in the interchange and switch off than i wake up and realise i still haven't drop.. >.<

company with my friends at night.. sigh .. sad leh.. mind really too many things... i really gone quiet while my friends chit chatting.. sit at the mac there.. drink coke.. and fa dai.. than samantha keep splash water at me.. lol..

what's more..? reaching home.. just nothing.. play game.. sufnet... and see something that really make me sad.. so ........ argh.. nothing.. ^^ until 1am+ i think.. went to watch tv... ghost story.. pretty nice.. until end of the show.. than back to my com again.. play awhile.. than sleep.. really cannot make it.. too tired... althought i don't feel like sleeping..

2005-04-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

Result coming out soon... everyday repeating the same thing.. doing the same thing... I miss her alot... but i dare not talk to her... everytime i see her online... but i don't have the gut to talk to her... so sad.. so hurt.. everytime i want tell her that i like her... but i fail to do so... there's lots of things in my mind... all this stop me.. but i really with i can be with her...

hmm this coming 24/4 .. haha.. going to join eating competition.. well.. just join for fun.. but of course.. before i join.. need to find out... what i'm going to eat? if spicy food.. i not going to join.. because i don't really can eat spicy food.. hahaha.. wish me good luck ... anyway... wish everyone who study in ngee ann.. good luck for the out coming result.. eheheheh ^^

2005-04-16T22:13:00.000+08:00

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

2005-04-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

Hiya everyone... once again.. I'm BACK! Dissappear from Blog for quite sometime... hmm should i say i'm lazy or i'm busy? hehehe.. no idea... rather busy recently ... mum enter hospital ... until now still cannot go home... almost a month... kinda sad... but never mind.. at least i'm train to be independence to be alone.. now i guess.. i'm fully well train... no harm to train that... now i no need spoon feed.. lol.. well.. got to learn to look at the bright side.. think positive not negitive.. hehe..

oh dear... result coming soon soon.. well.. never mind about it.. must be well prepare for worst.. i might fail and retain.. = now... what am i doing everyday ... just all CRAP! doing all the housework.. e.g: wash clothing, sweep floor, mop floor.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaa etc... seem like i'm well train to serve my future wife too.. HAHAHAHA ... cook my own meal.. AAAAAAaaa don't play play leh... just learned how to cook recently... well.. just a bit.. but at least better than nothing... heheheh...

as i say for my future wife... lol.. i wonder.... will a girl like me? LOL.. seem like until now .. well.. freak.. there is.. but... may be i'm choosy.. LMAO! but sad... the girl i like... may be she don't like.. may be she like... hmph.. i no idea... because... I never tell her about it... too many things in my mind... and all that stop me from telling her i like her... kinda sad... awww but.. it's ok.. so call of i'm use to be "alone" but .. sometime really i feel so lonely... hahahas....

well well well.... ok.. that's enough for my crap today... try to update more often if possible.. hehehe... see ya all my dear friend..

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There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
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2005-04-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

忘了有多久再没听到你对我说你最爱的故事

我想了很久我开始慌了是不是我又做错了什么

你哭着对我说童话里都是骗人的我不可能是你的王子

也许你不会懂从你说爱我以后我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里你爱的那个天使张开双手变成翅膀守护你

你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里幸福和快乐是结局

我要变成童话里你爱的那个天使张开双手变成翅膀守护你

你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里幸福和快乐是结局

我会变成童话里你爱的那个天使张开双手变成翅膀守护你

你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里幸福和快乐是结局一起写我们的结局

2005-03-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

Long time did't update here.. getting more and more lazy.. no lar.. is.. i'm getting more and more busy.. mum enter hospital again.. this time round.. she might stay there for quite sometime.. because need to transfer to St Andwer Hospital.. ( * DOn't knOw how tO SpeLL ) than I have to take care of the house.. do housework.. etc.. So lonely.. always alone at home.. sigh.. exam is coming.. this coming thurdays first paper is Engineering Maths.. Sux man.. i hate it.. >_<>_<

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Let us forget the existance of time, forget about the fightings surrounding us, ignore the world out there. Should the next seconds be the end of the world, what is more important is we are still together this second before the next one comes along....... I do not have much time left but to wait for you is more than enough, so promise me.....the remaining of your time, please leave it for me to wait for you.......
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2005-03-06T23:51:00.000+08:00

argh.. that damn stuipd ITA project.. make me CRAZY! Spending all my whole Sat afternoon doing until 3am mid-night.. and still carry on the next day afternoon until at night 10pm+ than finish..

althought i finish... but.. freak man... LOOK SO DULL and PLAIN! I'm not creative ... waste all my effort doing... all my stuff look so SIMPLE.. yet i took such a long hours to finish... haiz.... now my old problem back... HEADACHE... my left head always hurt when i think too much... argh... somehow.. i feel like chop off my that brain.. hahaz.. than i become brainless.. lalala..

now... did nothing.. need some rest.... focus too long on that project.. sitting here for hours... did't move at all... no lar.. only move to eat and toliet.. the rest.... sit down here for hours staring and doing... eyes damn tired... i guess... well.. nothing much.. end my blog here...

2005-03-03T20:21:00.000+08:00

bored... whole week did't rest well.. everyday sleep only 3 hours like that.. just to rush up all my work.. test.. etc... finally web tutorial for ACCA is completely done.. now left with MOL.. still got ITA project.. lucky today than i know... we have to design website also.. or else.. i also don't know.. now extra work.. web desiging.. use to keep doing it.. but now.. did't.. forgot all the java and html codes... well.. time to back to study for my MCQ and EPS test tomorrow... I think when i free.. gonna change the whole blog look.. want to insert flame or table already..and re-design it.. now LOOK so plain.. hahaz...

2005-03-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

Changing back to part of myself... a bit of anti-social.. but not really... skip breakfast and lunch.. hidding myself in the library during lunch doing my work.. during lesson.. did't talk much.. well.. I'm not sad or what.. is.. just feel like want to be alone... may be this going to be my life in poly already ... hahaz...

What a bad day for me... trying very hard to study for my maths test tomorrow.. end up.. phone keep ringing.. all choose the wrong time.. ='( than second call.. is my ex-classmate from my secondary school.. call me up for chit chat... after the talk.. he damn what... trying to provoke me.. say me... bookworm.. zz... Normal Tech student cannot study meh? I just want try study until as far as i can.. so people around me WON'T LOOK DOWN on me.. especially my reletive.. damn proud.... Feel so hurt people say me this... ya i know my result was bad in secondary or even primary fail all the way from primary 1 to 5..primary 6 go EM3 than start to pass...

Lucky third call is my Gan Jie Jie call me.. at least we have nice chat... better than the second one.. sigh.. die.. tomorrow.. i think i'm going to fail the test.. know how to do.. but always question comes... don't know what to do... =( also.. not sure got AEL test.. really can't recall anything about there's a test this week for AEL.. well.. don't know how to prepare.. well.. i guess.. may be.. fail both.. i think.....

2005-02-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

WooF... ALL test cannot make it man... AEL retest... cannot make it... hmm guess.. FAIL again.. hahahaz... today.. WAA test... what the hell.... is damn freaking hard.... just like completely different from the exciese.. may be... to others might not be that hard... but as for me... my english... cannot make it one.. Normal Tech english also just pass... primary school english fail all the way until primary 6 than pass.. hahaha.. if i really fail my WAA... that's gonna be a joke man.. IS module hard to fail.. yet.. i still can.. hahha..

Reach home... first thing what i do is... Watch TV! Very tired.. 9pm than reach home... watch tv until 10pm.. than back to homework.. finish up dreamweaver homework.. than ACCA... This week.. until my exam.. I'm going to completely forcus on my studies... want to catch up everything... do my exam well.. and HOLIDAY!

hmm well.. i guess got to stop here... arleady 12:38am.. yet haven't finish acca homework.. still studying the lecture notes only... hmm see ya than.. ^-^

( Born to bring sorrow throught out his life.. )

2005-02-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

weekends... what have i done for this past two days..? nothing but just slacking.. completely no mood on anything.. sleep all the way throught out.. until get scolded.. zzz... monday AEL retest... but did't prepare anything.. mum keep nagging at me over her so call of " her stuff " .. have she ever spare feeling on people how they feel now?

Alots of work haven't do... MOL, ITA project, EPS test, Maths Test, Programming project, ITA homework, WAA test.. etc.. Yet.. my mood.... nothing to say..

you know what... i wish i can brain wash myself... without any cost.. I wish i can forget everything... but... hahaz.. childish thought.. my attitude getting worst.. i already start to talk less... soon... i think ... i will become anti-social again.. just like when i was in secondary school... or i think might become worst... or.. may be i got zhi bi zhen.. nah.. zhi bi zhen even worst.. don't talk don't mix around hiding one side..... haven't reach that level yet.. hahaz

All this will carry out throught out my life... sorry.. please forgive me for been so useless... I give up... i'm such a failure.. dare not face up.. always hide around.. even her... i also trying to hide.. but my heart really care for her... sometime.. i see her.. extreme down over something.. but.. don't know how to console her.. everytime i saw her.. but i always did't talk to her.. what i doing sia.. If she ever know about it.. what will be her expression..? hahaz.. kkz ..

well.. how is my daddy looks like? what is his character..? i don't know leh.. i miss him... feel like.. find him.. and talk to him with all my heart... I believe he knows all my feeling... hahaz...
may be one day i should join him.. hahaz........... kkz..

2005-02-26T20:42:00.000+08:00

It have been quite sometime did't update here... just don't feel like.. not really is lazy.. ^^ yesterday... just want to take the ACCA test... end up rot in the library until 5pm ... sigh.. 5 hours of rotting... when i take the paper... my god..is the same... just only voltage become current... current become voltage.. haha.. i think i fail again.. hmm nothing much to say... don't feel like talk about sad things here... so... i end my post here.. take care all my friends.... ^^

2005-02-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

somehow.. after read throught something... i recall alot of things back... but well... what is past let it be... althought... i'm feeling bad about it.. and ... hmm well.. nothing... don't know what to say ... sometime ... things are beyond our control... i'm pretty miss the past life i use to have.. but.. can't bring it to present.. i know... that's life.. we need to learn things from the past... but.. hmm nothing... may be.. my life... is to bring all the sadness with me... through out my whole life... may be i don't know what's the point i in this world.. may be.... i shouldn't come to this world at all.... but why i'm here?

laugher really can cure lots of things... but laugh through from your heart it's really hard... Acting.. is easy... to become a real good acter is really hard... ...
i have been playing this role for a long time... getting very tired already ... should i change my role?

everyday... facing the same things.. family problem, relationship, friendship... gone through so much... but what have i learn?? I'm just too paranoid in life... may be you are right... i dare not face alot of things.. dare not face reality.. always like to hide myself... what cause me like that..? i don't know... who can answer me..? i guess no one.....

sometime.. i really feel like give up.... and surrender... but everytime when i want too.. it just like something stop me... it have been numbers of time.. everytime i see people around me.. i really envy them... but when i see myself in the mirror... just feel sad for myself...

everytime... when i can't sleep... i always talk to myself on bed... whatever i can think of.. till tears drop too.. until i fall asleep.. dream... dream of many things.... when dream is sweet... i really wish... i could stay in that dream forever... but .. rare... sigh........................

2005-02-19T11:27:00.000+08:00

Finally mum discharge again from hosptial... this is her 3rd time... =\ her medicine ..... cannot make it... total of 8 kinds... like eating sweet.. her mc... damn long man.. until 12 of march... but i guess she's going back to work on monday... or else... i think really can lose the job.. than GAME OVER.. hahaz... althought she's discharge... but still got 2 appointment she have to go.. one is kidney.. another one is bone... zzz sigh.... nothing to say ... just feeling sad for her ... and also sad for me...... hahaz.......

nothing much happen.. slack in the afternoon.. and do online assisment for AEL than have a nap .. wake up and watch chingay... sad leh.... my two friends... wenting and samantha... they got perform.. but can't see them.. don't know where are they... may be is because they make up and i not use to it.. so can't find them at all.. hahaz...

hmm... ok.. i guess nothing else to say... don't wish to keep repeat things... hahaz.. end my post for today...

*Acting nothing happen always*

2005-02-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

Surprise that today i see her wear it... feeling very happy about it... althought i did't show out .. hehehehe.... the damn EPS project... don't know what's wrong.. keep not working.. no matter how i troubleshoot.. still the same.. let my lecturer see... she also can't really spot where goes wrong... end up i pass to her.. ask her to troubleshoot for me when she free.. I give up.. can't spot a single mistake at all.. hahaz... after all my work done... went to eat lunch with my classmates.. whahaha... i ate 3 plates of rice with extra rice... they got shock... and nothing to say ... but well.. the 3rd plate is my friend treat... he don't believe that i can finish eat.. hahaaz.. end up.. i still finish all my food...

On my way back home.. slack at home for half an hour and rush out again... to buy food for my mum.. than deliever it to hospital where she stay.. well... today really a day of rush... after company my mum.. than rush down to cityhall and meet my mei, friends etc... because my gong married today... we all gather together at food court at marina square than after that we went to the pub at esplanade.. hahaz.. drank 2 and 1/4 glass ... shiok leh.. once in a while drink... this is one of my most happiest time in my life... and enjoy also... hardly got a chance to go out till mid-night reach home... very rare........ normally after lesson.. go home.. no entertainment at all... not i don't want.. is mum don't let me... awww kinda sad... hahahaz... time passes fast.... so fast our gathing end... i miss the time i spend with them....... i miss the time i enjoy myself too...... well.....

Wish Eugene and Lijing have a happy marriage....

when will it be my turn?? HAHAHAHAHA.. i guess i drank too much... just kidding.. i'm still very awake... :P just dream too much.. =P

2005-02-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

sing sing sing... when my mood down.. I love to sing alot... hahaz.. nearly whole night singing while doing my EPS project... I wonder i sing so much... will be become a Singer? LOL! Dreaming............................ eat very little today also... like..... can't eat at all... no appetite at all.. hahahaz.. I admit i'm just too paranoid in life.. what to do............. what makes me like that? i also don't know... ........... ........................................ ............................................. hahahahahz ....... who can save me? i think no one.. only me can save myself... but how to save? now.. whatever things i do.. also very slacking... like no mood to do.. give up easily... things can't solve... i will just throw one side... tomorrow than do... i don't want to be like that............. how............. eh... not bad leh... i able to sing jap quite well.. lolz.. but it's old song... may be listen to many times already ... argh.. don't know what to type liao... clear up my table and sleep...

*Walk off away and Act happy the rest of my life.....*

2005-02-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby

2005-02-16T23:12:00.000+08:00

Bored... nobody at home... not even a single soul.. mum in hospital again.. this is her 3rd time go in again.. everytime go different hospital... =\ althought i'm bored.. but i also got freedom.. can go anywhere i want.. but end up.. i still stay at home.. because no place to go.. hahahaz
exam is coming soon.. about in 5 weeks time if i not wrong.. is exam.. and now need to study alot to catch up and pass... althought i failed two module in my common test.. i failed two module.. but... still gonna work on it... i can't afford to fail again.. i don't want repeat my this semster.. AH! crap... don't know what to do now.. and say... my mind just fill up with alot of things... I'm sick of this........... when will all my problem realase out... tired already ... everyday... keep smiling .. talking crap.. well.. i can say that's my most happiest time... because i don't think of anything.. just say what i want to say .. sometime.. my crap.. hahaha.. really can make my friend cannot stand me.. feel like whack me.. LOL!... but no choice lar.. bear with it.. =P althought i keep smiling and hide alot of things.. but well.... acting isn't it that bad too.. at least can make people around feel better... instead of worried about me... better than always anti-social.. already been anti-social for quite a few years.. now it's time to change myself a bit.. and not be a problematice child again... hahaz... trying to let go some of my problem if possible .. hope my life will be lighten a bit.. time to sleep... nothing else to type.. May God bless me in whatever things i do...

2005-02-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

It have been quite a few days i did't post up anything to my blog... hmmm just feel bored now.. while waiting for my friends for lunch at canteen 3... let's post something.. hahaz.. crap... now i have see all my paper... got to re-test two paper... one is AEL another one is ACCA ... kinda sad leh ... luckly maths score 50/100 but i can see... my teacher a bit of put water.. to let me pass.. ~>_<~ bacause alot of marks keep on cancelling.. and add more marks... my AEL.. sian man... score 47/100 acutally plan to score for this paper.. but end up ... sigh...... =( one of my classmate said... i fail i still can laugh.. well.. actually.. life no matter up or down... life still have to goes on... laugh make me feel better.. althought i'm hiding alot of things.. hmm.. valentine day present.. i wonder have she received it? seem like.. no reaction.. everything very normal.. but that's also a good things to me.. lalalala... well.. no matter what.. hope she likes it.. hahahzz..... hey... guys.. don't wild guess.. :P i'm just giving as a friend.. and actually ... that's my first present i give people in valentine day.. lalalala... hmm ok.. cut my crap... anything else... when i reach home than continue... now got to eat my lunch.. haha.. byebye .. ^-^

2005-02-14T01:27:00.000+08:00

Slacking for the whole weekend... Done nothing but just play game... sleep... haha... well.. at least not so bad... i still touch my book a bit... getting worried about my school work now.. slack too much until i totally forgot about my this come tuesday ITA test... all thanks to Huo Guang.. if he did't remind me of that.. i also forgot everything... got to start studying it tomorrow night.... sigh.. sad ... want to find things that i want to buy... but end up...couldn't find.. may be there's no such gift selling in this world.. ~>_<~ keep asking around.... but all my friends no idea.. well... nothing i can do now.. tomorrow go shopping for the last time... last minutes... if still can't find.. that's it... Game Over.. haha.. even if found... have to test my guts.. see i dare to give a not.. if dare not.. hahaha.. i keep for myself... to remind me ... I'm so Stuipd.. lalalala....well.. that's all for my crap... end of tonight.. sweet dream to all.. and wish everyone who read my blog...
*A Very Happy Valentine Day* ^-^

2005-02-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

3rd day of chinese new year... nothing much happen.. only thing i don't like is.... need to go school on that day ... why only two days holiday.. sob.. early in the morning.. can't even get up.. because did't sleep well.. hmm or should i say i did't sleep at all.. because ate too much last night.. sigh.. first lesson.. got back my programming paper.. hmm ok.. not bad.. did't done so badly.. at least i score a B.. as for my EPS2 in my next lesson.. GoSh time passes faster.. just like only awhile.. and it's already 12pm.. project can't finish also .. end up i bring home and do.. as when i reach home... bored... got to wait about 3 hours plus... than PoP out again.. hahahaha actually i mean go out again .. to tampines.. with my mum... kinda sad.. 3rd day of new year only.. mum show black face... =( what have i done? i only say her Where to Buy? and she throw her temper on me for nothing.. so..... unreasonable.. zzzz sigh.. nothing much to say .. don't feel like saying anything too.. well.. take care guys.. ^^

2005-02-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

This two days of chinese new year.. lol.. can say i did enjoy myself.. and also did't enjoy myself.. because.. hmmm i talk about less than 10 minutes total for the two days.. seem to be very anti-social.. LOL! sit down there.. watching tv... keep eating... Day dreaming... walking around in and out the house... looking around..... and FALL ASLEEP! lol... as for the enjoy part... hehehe got alot of Yu Sheng, Shark Fin etc to eat.... keep eating non-stop this two days.. prepare to gain weight.. well HOPE SO! =X I have never enjoy eating so much good food since i was born.. the most only eat once... Yu Sheng.. got.. Yu Sheng.. no Shark Fin.. =/ lalalala this year both..plus 2 times.. hehehe the way i eat... is damn scary.. my cousin look at me .. i notice he's looking at me.. but i act blur... because not i want eat so much.. is......... they keep asking me to eat.. and keep saying don't waste food.. so... i carry on eat.. just alone me one person ... already eat about 3-4 person serve.. WHAHAHAAHA althought i small size.. but i eat ALOT! all stop eating.. and i keep carry one eating.. LoL!.. now... hmm not really 100% full.. only about 85% full... still feel like eat until very very FULL! but no chance already ... >_<>

2005-02-09T10:51:00.000+08:00

yesterday.. haha.. sad leh... yesterday got back my ACCA paper.. and i only score 43/100... awww have to go for re-take.. kinda sad.. but never mind.. at least i tried my best.. ^^ now left with 3 unknown marks.. let's see... i will say another 2 fail.. only 1 pass.. hahaha .. well.. now is chinese new year... seems like no different at all.. almost the same as everyday.. but only feel like.. don't want go out.. want to stay at home... =P hmm got to go.. by force.. =X lalalalala
*WiSh EvEryOnE HaPpY ChinEsE NeW YeAr*

2005-02-08T01:39:00.000+08:00

hoHo got back my WAA test paper... u know how GOOD i have done? i score 15/30 lol... well.. i feel happy for that.. because my english very weak.. no choice.. can't ask for much.. as long can pass i'm happy with it... what a big rush today.. after my CATS lesson.. my mei last minutes call me up ask me go parkway... after i reach there.. SO TOUCH! she and her friends pass me a shirt, a jeans and belt.. infront of them.. i dare not cry out.. =X i also feel pai seh.. let them wait for me about 2 hours i think.. =X but i already tired my best to rush down.. anyway we both also rushing for something.. lols.. argh.. my mum again.. give me black face.. and scold ... that's what i hate from her actually.. she everytime like that treat me.. always treat me as a jail bird.. no freedom for me.. i just went to parkway only to get something.. isn't it that wrong too? i have been thinking of her.. ask her go home have a rest first.. than i reach home i go out with her together.. end up.. around 6.15pm call me up and yell at me.. ask me " STILL DON'T WANT TO GO HOME AH " even i reach parkway.. i sit there NOT even 5 minutes i rush back home again .... zzzzz than reach home.. scold scold scold... never mind .. use to it.. from small she like that.. that's why my sister cannot stand her end up married early.. lols.. should i follow her footstep? well.. i think not.. because i'm the only son left now.. ^^ at night.. while me and my mum at tampines mall settle singtel things.. last minutes again... my auntie call.. ask we all FASTER rush down to restaurant and eat..ask we all take taxi down the cab fees they pay.. zzzz than in my heart i say .. oh DAMN it.. not again.. what day is today? is it a rush hour day? whatever things i did all in a rush.. haha after i reach there.. oh no........... both of us VIP! all waiting for us.. anyway not our fault too.. in the first place nobody told us earlier... surprisingly, ALL CRAB! got pepper crab, curry crab, steam crab... AH! all i never eat BEFORE! very pai seh don't know how to eat.. HAHA than my cousin and my auntie teach me how to eat.. lols... SHY leh! =.=" haha.. today eat really alot.. so FULL! so wish i could always eat like that.. not just....... noodless i guess.. LOL!.. well... time to sleep... hehehehe hope tonight i will have sweet dreams~

2005-02-05T02:04:00.000+08:00

HoHo.. finally... the day of freedom... finally finish common test... now can relex.. and wait for script.. see which module i fail and re-take.. =X for the time been.. enjoy......... hahaha... today pp2... quite ok.. hope can pass.. ^-^ yeah.. wait this day for quite sometime.. now can enjoy game all the way without touching the books.. lolx.. =X but.. can't play too much also.. in about 1 month plus time.. exam coming.. damn it.. so fast going exam.. school reopen not even 3 months going to exam.. sigh.. all the MOE fault.. want to have early in-take.. end up we have a short term and break.. ~>_<~ hais.. got to work hard for it ... well... now... work hard for games this weekend.. HAHAHA!!! after that... SAD when see the paper.. :P kekeke damn tired today.. think need to have an early rest tonight.. WisH myself sweet dream =X

2005-02-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

HoHo... Finally! tomorrow last paper... yeah.. today ACCA paper.. quite ok.. althought i did badly.. hope will pass.. :P now.. it's time for the final paper.. Programming.... this one i die die also must try to pass... don't want let my lecturer dissapointed.. because i keep asking her alot when i don't know.. =.=" sigh.. mum went for check up.. doctor say.. she already unfit for work because of her kidney and low blood.... oh no.. die man.. if this news let her managment know.. she might lose her job.. and.. that's IT! everything finish.. no income.. all gone.. althought doctor always say your life important or work important.. as for me and my mum.. BOTH ARE IMPORTANT! without health.. no income... with health.. no income.. That's DEAD END man.... zzzz ... hardship for my mum.. althought we always sometime quarrel for because of something.... but.. still pity her... what can i do for her..? work and study at the same time.. i cannot make it.. school work already not stable.. if plus work.. confirm will stress up alot.. sigh.. if things really happen.. really got no other choice.. i think.. i got to quit already .. ~>.<~ and work.. * TOUCH WOOD * well.. can't escape from national service.. think left one path for me.. is sign on .. i really don't like it.. i want work as what i want.. not by force to work something i don't wish too.. life now only bitter and sour.. no sweet at all.. i wonder when will it be sweet.. i'm tired.. really tired.. give me a break............................................. i want to be a happy child like what i see from others.. no worry.. no nothing.. only play and study.. enjoy themself.... sigh.. hmm hey BERNARD wake up!!!! life hasn't end.. this is just a test!!! work hard for it.. work hard for yourself.. I believe from the hardship u have gone throught.. will make you strong.. lolx.. ok .. time to study.. good luck to myself tomorrow.. ^-^
* Believe will make it.. Don't believe won't make it *

2005-02-02T17:52:00.000+08:00

wow, yesterday maths paper.. =/ so many careless.. cannot make it ... lolx.. i think now it's time to wait get kicked out.. hahahha.. anyway.. can't be bother.. just try whatever i can.. do whatever i need to do.. if it's really fate to fail means fail.. nothing can be done... actually kinda sad.. work so hard.. but.. =/ never mind.. ^^ after the paper went to find mr teng to teach me ACCA... that was 5:15pm.. ~>.<~ when he comes.. i told him.. sir.. i don't know the whole book.. and don't know what's going on.. He STARE at me with his eyes BIG! Oh no.. i dare not look at him.. he did't scold me but ask me why ..? is it i did't pay attandtion during lecture? i say no.. i did pay attandtion .. but just don't know what's going on.. may be is because keep copying the solution give by him .. ~>.<~ than he smile at me.. kind enough.. he teach me everything.. lolx.. while he was teaching me and help me recap everything... than i realise.. OH NO! so easy... easier than MATHS! i able to answer his question given to me.. but now what i scare is when the paper comes.. i don't know how to do again .. sigh.. after the remedial over.... only took him 45mins to teach me.. that was fast man... he told me... he can see i'm very weak in maths..because i respond him very slow.. that's why i learn very slow.. lolx.. nothing to say... i only say yup.. my maths is extreme weak.. ~>.<~ but he say never mind.. keep practicing.. try your best.. never give up.. hahaha. when reach home.. i try to open up the book again and recap.. sigh.. sad to say.. i can't recall again.. i wonder what are my brain for.. =/ lolx.. keeping junk.. ^^hahahaha.. i think it's time to spend less time on internet.. until the common test is over.. time to revise ACCA and Programming.. byebye my sweet BlOG! *HuGS* =X

2005-01-31T22:13:00.000+08:00

sigh.. so dissappointed for my paper today... why today i so blur... the paper can say is easy.. but why i do until can fail.. i did so badly.. WHY? study so hard.. stress over myself for the past week.. end up.. that's what i gain today.. =( after the paper.. I went to tampines mall to settle bills that i paid to the wrong account.. ( clever right.. pay bill also can pay wrong .. hopefully one day i also can help u all pay and i did't realise it ) end up have to run here and there.. than reach tampines mall.. the guy ask me go to sengkang to settle.. wa lau.. at phone say any M1 shop give them all the document.. than i go tampines mall they ask me go sengkang.. what the hell... think i so free.. already stress up.. =.=" while i was on my way there.. i call up my friend from tampines ite want company me go there? lolx.. scare bored drag some friends go.. lucky they company me.. lolx.. =X but... end up.. i keep bringing them one big round.. got shortcut i also don't take.. the place i know one.. i also can forget where is it.. than have to find.. don't know what's wrong with me today.. my mind just like.. not with me at all.. all i know.. my brain is empty.. ~>.<~ how to study..? sometime.. i really feel like give up.. house so many problem.. problem just keep adding.. and always been unsolve.. who will know how i feel? =/

2005-01-30T13:05:00.000+08:00

hmm.. last day of study week.. and tomorrow will be the doom days.. althought i have give up.. =.=" well... GooD LucK to myself.. lolx.. prepare for retest.. CNY coming soon.. sian.. have to do spring cleaning.. wipe window.. wash fan.. mop floor... clear my desk.. my room etc etc.. see my room.. headache.. in a mess... ~>.<~ wa lau.. i hate to wash fan.. very to take out everything and wash.. so tigh.. =/ lolx.. i guess.... time to continue doing spring cleaning.. and back to study again for the very last minutes and last chance.... hope there's a miracle .. lolx

2005-01-29T13:38:00.000+08:00

SiGh.. early in the morning wake up just for the sick of going back to NP again to get the past year ACCA exam paper.. and ask teacher about maths and acca.. u know what.. partly i waste my trip down.. that acca teacher don't know go where.. call him more than 10 times... no one pick the phone.. waited about 1 hours + still not around.. don't know where he goes.... now my acca really cannot make it.. from head to tail almost everything i don't know.. i did pay attendtion in class.. but end up.. learn nothing.. i guess.. i gonna repeat this module .. no matter how i try to recap.. i just can't recall anything.. as for maths.. althought i know how to do.. but when comes to the question.. zzzzzzzz i'm stuck.. lolx.. i think that need more practice.. Bernard.. u can do it one for MATHS! Believe u will do it.. Don't believe u can't do it.. lolx.. watch too much my date with a vampire 3 .. sigh.. study study.. time to back for study.. ~>_<~

2005-01-28T12:52:00.000+08:00

Finally, i got my own blog.. seem to be too common to have it.. nothing new at all.. but after all.. i'm happy about it.. because i able to write out some of my feeling over here instead of saying out.. I'm the type of person who always keep things in my heart..

May be you all wonder why i register this since last year and wait till this year than do all the stuff.. well.. it's because last time i still don't know how... and lazy to learn.. now.. i'm just too stress up.. and tired.. finding something to do to reduce stress.. hmm well.. ok.. i end my testing now..

2005-01-27T22:03:00.000+08:00

GoSh.. u know what.. sometime i find life is really meaningless.. everyday is repeating the same thing.. as now common test is coming.. just less than 1 week.. and that will be my doom day..prepare for the worst.. because i might fail this common test.. sigh =( as for now.. i really can't cope everything.. so many things to handle.. need to handle family stuff.. school .. etc... Argh.. i hate it.. why other born to have a good life.. why i'm not..? i have to suffer so much.. more than everyone else.. since i was small till now.. sometime i really don't know why i come to this world.. i really don't know.. oH GOD! please answer me if u know.. i really sick of it ..